Friday, 3 June 2016

When your feel like your body just lets you down

It’s Monday and I’m back at work. After having a terrible weekend which saw me flat lined for most of Saturday, I can honestly say that it’s nice to be back in a routine.  I find myself having more bad days than usual lately and I’m not sure if it’s the medication or the weather.

One of the more frustrating things about this condition is my memory or lack thereof it, they call it the “Fibro Fog”.  I find myself at times standing in shopping isle’s wondering what I’m here for and having no idea on the purpose of being here in the first place which happened on Saturday – forgetting where I have put things, not able to string a sentences along, not able to find the right word for an item and feeling like I’m slurring and speaking another language. 

Another term used frequently with this condition is “Flare”.  Everyone’s flares and length of flares are different. For me it is when my whole body just completely goes haywire which brings me back to Saturday – Headache and whole body ache, struggling to walk, pins and needles in the feet with a burning sensation, digestive issues, Vertigo and balance issues, vision compromised. Now I’m no stranger at all to these conditions as I generally experience one of these issues on a daily basis but it’s when everything hits you at once is when I struggle.  So at that point I just gave it the middle finger and decided to shower and take myself to a coffee shop and sit in the sun, and it worked for a maybe an hour and by the time I got home I was completely and utterly wipe out but my goal was to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.  I was so angry with my body as that was the moment I realised that it had let me down but then I also realised that I to had let my body down as It was clearly sending a message to me that I needed to slow down which I did and spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch with remote in hand.

I find it hard to balance between not letting this get to me and knowing when I need down time and being truly ok with allowing myself down time but It’s something that I need to work on and hopefully I will find the balance. 

Sunday morning started out ok and got better as my husband took me to visit the RSPCA and get some Pet Therapy and boy did it help – I may off looked like the crazy cat lady sitting amongst all the Cats but they certainly pulled me out of my funk and I could not get the silly grin off my face.

And here we are back at Monday – can’t say I’m feeling brilliant but I’m out of the house and hoping and trying to be the best person that I can be today J

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